Hula Hoops Don't Work On Me

Decided I really should do some exercise other than running and as I’d bought a DVD on hula aerobics 6 months ago which hadn’t even been taken out of its cellophane, I thought this might be the exercise for me. I got a hula hoop from The Mr’s dad who had a brief moment of enthusiasm for hooping but had given it up as a bad job. This should have been my first warning. Mind you, The Mr’s Dad isn’t really what you think of when you think of someone who does hula hooping.

The hula hoop was yellow and green striped with a sparkly pink bit and it had beads inside it which rattled when it moved. It was obviously a kids hula hoop but as it fitted around my middle without my middle touching the edges I couldn’t see this being a problem.

My Nemesis ...

I put the DVD on and did the warm up with consisted of shaking bits of your body and waving your bum in a circle, rather like a cat on heat. No problems there. Must have been a moggy in a previous life. The next part was where it all went wrong.

The instructor (who DID look like someone who hula hooped) picked up the hula hoop and started effortlessly spinning it round her midriff. I picked my hoop up too. It fell down. This was to be a theme.

I’ve done hula hooping before and I’m positive it wasn’t this hard last time. I picked the hoop up, waving my bottom frantically, the hoop circled my middle in a listless sort of a way once or twice and then it fell down.  The instructor gave ‘helpful’ information like “If the hoops starts falling down, move your hips down and it should come back up”. It didn’t. It just meant I was sitting on the floor. On the hoop.

Humph.

After 8 minutes of me dropping the hoop every 7 seconds, tripping over 13 times and knocking everything off the shelves, I decided that today is obviously not the day for hooping. I would consign this hoop to the role of giant hoopla ring (should I ever need to hoop anything really big) and go in search of a proper hula hoop. Suitable for adults. And idiots unable to hula hoop without help.