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Friday 13 December 2013

12 Gifts of Xmas: Shoddy Poetry & a Grovel to the Relatives

On the first day of Christmas Running Santa gave to me 

A big running vest full of pockets for treats, 
I’ll stuff them with loo roll and nice things to eat

If I knock myself out and am ill on the ground, 
Someone will see me, I want to be found!

Some non-stinky trainer inserts 
So people around me can breathe not pass out. 
My sweet smelling feet, will be happy, no doubt.

Trainers in carrier bags just don't smell nice. 
A swanky new bag, no more fodder for mice.

The brighter I am, the happier I’ll be 
And with bright glowing kit I’ll be easy to see!

I like the spotty ones best but I don’t really mind ... 
The brighter the better – And designs ? Any kind!

To help keep me running, to top up my fuel, 
I'll finish the race looking happy and cool.
My last half marathon I squirted gel in my eyes, 
it made me run faster being followed by flies.

Race entry
Mud and hills bring them on, even trails will be nice!
Just don’t make me pay – YOU cover the price!  

With vibration technology, these headphones are swanky, 
I need to get rid of my old ones. They’re manky.

Homemade shakes - I’ve no time, I’ve come in from a run!
I just want to stick food in my mouth and be done!

I’ve not much to jiggle, it’s so sad but it’s true, 
And I really do need some sports bras that are new.  

And on the 12th day of Christmas, Santa please give to meeeeee ..... !
Plenty of runs, races, fun, and some good company!!!

I feel I need to apologise for my shoddy poetry  you'll be relieved to hear that there are no plans to do any future blog posts in this way. Any complaints can be forwarded to my Mum who helped  And on a completely UNRELATED notes can anyone think of a good rhyme for 'trainer' 


  1. Haha, whilst this was deeply entertaining, this may not be your art form ;-)

  2. Bother. I'll stick to the interpretive dance then. (Waves arms and pretends to be a tree)

  3. Love this! More gift giving lists need to include ways to carry loo roll and LESS pink tshirts for girly runners. :)

    1. Ha ha!! I'm catering directly to the badass runners like us!! :)

  4. Trainer could rhyme with plainer - those socks are much more fun than ones that are plainer?! Or, I'll jump on the cross trainer- over Christmas it'll keep me saner?! Okay so I'm no better... Merry Christmas!

    1. I'm liking this and may require your poetry skills in the future!! Merry Christmas Katie!!

  5. Replies
    1. Well I had fun writing it!! And I won't get the relatives asking me what I want for Christmas now! Can refer them here!! :)

  6. Will somebody help me invest in a trainer, to speed up my running it's an utter no-brainer.

    1. Ooh I like this VERY much!! I should have just come to you in the first place! You realise I'm expecting the next parkrun report to be in couplets? ;)