It hasn’t quite sunk in yet
... I’m going to Paris!
I’m ecstatic ... and
unbelieving ... and incredulous. But not nervous. I’m looking forward to having
a tailored training plan. I’ll have it written down for me. I’ll know exactly
when, and how far and how long I should run. I cannot wait!! I just want to get
started now!
But…
It’s not survivor’s guilt
and I wouldn’t be so shallow to think that this is that anything similar. But
I’m feeling guilty for getting through when the other – thoroughly lovely and
decent – people in my category didn’t. I’m trying to think of the reasons I got
through and they didn’t but we were all so different that it’s difficult to
know why one got through and the others didn’t. They were all so nice and we had
such a laugh in the week of campaigning that I hope they’ll stick around on the
forum.
Last year when I didn’t get
through to the voting stage, I KNEW why I didn’t and I was still gutted that I
didn’t get through. It was my first time on a track and my first experience of
pacing and I managed to completely mess it up. I also had a tight ITB which
wasn’t helping. But I was STILL bitter when I didn’t get through. There were
perfectly valid reasons for offering the places to a more competent,
experienced and un-injured runner. I knew this, but still was upset.
It must be even worse to
have gotten so close to the prize and not come home with it.
But … I’m in. I worked
really hard to prove how much I wanted it and I know that I will work really
hard to prove I deserve it. I will be going to Paris. And I will come home with
my Boston Qualifying time.
And a bloody lovely medal.
You deserve everything you have achieved and I am sure all of those you met will wish you well! and....you will definitely come home with both!
ReplyDeleteThank you Paul - for your kind words and your faith in me!! :)
ReplyDelete