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Friday 30 August 2013

Time Warp, Weeing on Petunias & Pouting

I was sick of sulking. I’d kept the sulk going for as long as possible, but I’d had enough. I’d pouted in the pantry, sulked in the sitting room and grumbled in the garden. None of it was making me feel any better. 

A few hours ago, I’d come home in a grump not having completed my 20 mile long ... in fact falling woefully short at 15½ miles. Huff.

Much as I like sitting on the sofa, I knew that if I didn’t finish it off, I’d class it as a failed run. Despite the fact it was still 15 miles in my running bank. Besides finishing a long run means that I can treat myself to a nice glass of wine. If the entire bottle accidentally falls into the glass so much the better.

The wine was incentive enough. I couldn’t let a run beat me so I pulled on some clean running clothes, laced the trainers up and buckled on the Garmin.

Yep. I was heading out to finish off the 20 miles.

I put a good playlist on of my most upbeat and fun songs and headed out.

Wow! What a difference a good playlist makes. I was dancing along as though I hadn’t run 15 miles a couple of hours previously. However I would like to point out that it is IMPOSSIBLE to do the Time Warp while maintaining an 8:30 min/mile. I tried though. The neighbours looking out through their net curtains didn’t seem to be as disapproving as usual which I took as a good sign until I lip-read one old dear: “Bless her. She’s obviously trying out for the special Olympics.”

Old bat. I resolved to train the cat to wee on her petunias and carried on trying to make time travel possible. “Just a jump to the left”.

I ran – and danced – through the five miles without any effort and made it home having completed a 20.54 mile day.

Yeah! Who’s my bitch, long run!! Yes, YOU are!! (Looks around to check no one is looking and carries on dancing to the Time Warp).


  1. I genuinely laugh out loud at every post always something to amuse me - even today when I am at home sick!

    I would have gone all out on her petunias myself if she'd said that about me - have that old bat!! ;)

    Put your hands on your hips and bend your knees in tiiiimmmeeee :P

    Well done on completing the run - that's the attitude I need to adopt when things aren't going well instead of sulking and putting it down to a fail!


    1. Sorry to hear you're poorly! Get well soon! If it makes you feel better you're welcome to nip over and have a wee on the neighbour's petunias? :)

  2. Your posts never fail to make me giggle! Great way to sort out a 'failed' run- though 15 miles is still not to be sniffed at!

    1. Thanks Sarah! I was so gutted when I had to stop ... just had nothing left - this run was such a contrast to how I was feeling earlier! :)

  3. Rock that run Sarah, brilliant post as always :)

    1. Thanks Paul! Not such a brilliant run ... but I'm glad you liked the post! Now ... a step to the left ...!