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Friday 20 February 2015

Hiring an Athletics Track or Not Poking Small Children Off Bikes

I had a tempo run. I was grumpy. I DID not want to do 20 minutes at my 10k pace from April when I was all fit. I’m not all fit now but that didn’t matter. I was still expected to run at a pace which would make me feel all vomity. In fact run at a pace that I ran my last parkrun at. Ugh.

I sulked publicly on twitter. Autumn and Fiona told me to woman up and get it done. Paul offered to hide me from my coach but I’d have to pay for my keep in Nutella. 

There was no excuse.

I was going to have to do it. 

First things first. How do I make this session at easy as possible? What would stop me from going at speed?

Things determined to stop me:

  • Irritating people walking slowly and blocking the pavement. These people really DO move in herds. 
  • Yappy snappy dogs with extendable leads. 
  • Small, sticky children weaving around on pushbikes and intent on running over my feet. 
  • Broken, bumpy pavements and gooey, sticky mud.
  • Teenagers with dead eyes and massive headphones on.

Potential 'Poking-Children-Off-Bikes-Stick'. Image

What can I do to stop these things from slowing me down?
  • Wave an axe to scare everyone out of my way.
  • Drugs for the dogs. And probably the teenagers.
  • Invent a mud hoover and borrow a steamroller for flattening down those dangerous pavements.
  • Get a big stick to poke the small children off their bikes.
  • Hire a running track.

Having a lack of drugs and feeling that waving an axe might slow me down, I investigated hiring Rugby track.

£4.15 for as much running in circles as I could manage. Perfect.

Love how I have been charged for '1 Athletic Track'. Amazing.

No stress about dodging around people, having to cross roads or lumpy paths, I could just run. And I did.

Like a hamster in lycra, I circled the track. 20 minutes later, tempo run done, I had my smug face on.

And without drugging anyone OR having to poke any small children off their pushbikes.

Am obviously ALL heart. 


  1. Ahhhh, another 'people hater' like me. I foolishly decided to make the most of the sunshine this week and go for a quick blast at lunch - forgetting it was half term making the number of annoying people EVEN HIGHER. My main issue is that people seem to have no self awareness? I don't mind them being there, they just need to learn to walk in a straight line - don't suddenly change direction and then act annoyed that I ran into you! But well done on getting out there and doing it :)

    1. Yes! Exactly this! :) I get a grumpy look for daring to run as though it's an extremely rude thing to do! Wonder if we're allowed to taser the rudest people? ;)

  2. I make sure to stay well clear of roads and pavements during the holidays. This is when my trail run love intensifies! I work with kids all week, I don't want to get stopped by them at the weekends too.
    One of my favourite pastimes with pedestrians is running up behind them quietly then going to overtake and letting out a cough or a sigh and waiting for the jump and screams!

    1. Ooh good plan! Yes and it's getting lighter too so I can reclaim the trails in the evenings! I think I might try the cough technique ... sounds like something that would keep me entertained on long runs! :)