I ordered myself a pair of VibramFiveFingers running shoes. I’d always wanted to try them and had visions of being like
Barefoot Ted – but with boobs. I’d be running everywhere in a flowing
forefoot style in my awesome toe-shoes, my graceful running style the
envy of all. And winning all the races too, of course.
I waited a whole suspense-filled week for the courier and when the box arrived, I tore off the wrappings and there they were. MY Vibrams.
 |
| Not my Vibrams … sob. |
This was going to be AWESOME.
It wasn't.
After 15 pain-filled
minutes I got the first shoe on. There was NO way the second one was
going on.
I cried inwardly as I came to the
realisation I would never be a barefoot running legend ... due to an
incurable problem.
Fat Toes.
Despite my feet looking normal (well
normal for a runner) it appeared that my little piggies had not only
had roast beef and been to the market, but had visited the deli, the
chip shop AND McDonalds before wee-wee-weeing all the way home.
My forefoot-racing dreams shattered and the Vibrams sent
back, I sulked for a day before consoling myself with the thought
that if I had to have randomly fat anything, fat toes probably isn’t
the worst thing to have. I could have been cursed with strangely
bulgy earlobes or obese elbows. (Although those sound like fun
- imagine earring shopping) At least my porky piggies can stay hidden
until beach weather and even then, unleashed on the sand and the
unsuspecting public they would be overshadowed by my toenails of many
colours. Underneath my nail polish of many colours.
“This little piggy went to the
sweetie shop ...”
I have the new balance minimus that have a vibram sole but NO toe holes! You should get those and become a fat toed barefoot hero!
ReplyDeleteOoh these sound brill!! I'll have to have a look at the Minimus!! Na na na na na Fat Toes!! You can't hold me back any longer!!
DeleteI'm interested in how you find them as didn't they just get a big law suit because they were making false claims?
ReplyDeleteOoh I'd completely missed that! Didn't realise! What happened?
DeleteI love that your little piggies had such a great outing, toes come in all sizes and should be admired for their beautiful differences lol ;)
ReplyDeleteThat is a lovely comment and I can safely say that I never thought my toes and their toe-besity problem would ever be in the same sentence as 'beautiful' … except possibly in one with a 'not' in front! :)
DeleteAll Merrell running shoes have vibram soles, I quite like merrell trail gloves, they are pretty similar solewise to the vibrams, but don't look as stupid ! They also have a small amount of cushioning on them (a whole 3mm!!), so you can actually run a fair way in them. I had a pair of vivos which I couldn't run more than a mile in as they were just so hardcore, you could literally feel every atom in the pavement.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that though I still prefer to run in gobionics, which are zero drop but have about 10mm of padding so you can do half marathons + pretty comfortably.
I'm going to have to have a look at these! They sound really interesting and I like that I'd actually be able to run some distance in them. Not sure I'd have much patience with run shoes that I couldn't go further than a mile in! Although patience doesn't tend to be a strength of mine …! You've just opened a whole new world of shoes to me!! :)
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