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Wednesday 25 November 2015

Tri Vs DIY: I Don’t Even Want to Wee In My Wetsuit

It’s official. The mojo has departed. 

And because it’s the triathlon enthusiasm that has gone, it means that it’s not just not running, swimming and cycling also hold no appeal. My bike is sitting forlornly on the turbo trainer, its pointy saddle hurting no bottoms. My trainers are unworn and my spikes have yet to be used on a cross country course or competitors toes. I don’t even fancy wee-ing in my wetsuit.

However, it appears that I NEED to get back to it. If only because what I have replaced it with is much MUCH worse. 

I’ve turned to DIY. 

And it appears that I'm even more rubbish at DIY than I am at Not-Faffing-Around-In-Transitions and Self-Control-Around-All-The-Food-At-Checkpoints. At least with the checkpoints and eating all the food, the worst thing that happens is that I waste time and put on weight.

So far in the DIY journey I have:
Poked a hole in the roof of the house. (Yes really) I tried to cover it up but it was too big. I was only trying to paint the porch.

Dropped an entire tin of white gloss paint on the patio. I actually managed to clean it up quite well except I’ve managed to make a clean patch on the patio and it turns out that the patio stones AREN’T actually beige like I’ve always thought but are pink and yellow. Well. 4 of them are because I cleaned them trying to clean the paint up and now I have a beige patio that looks like Mr Blobby has melted in the middle.

Dribbled paint down the windows. From the inside it looks like I've installed bars. 

Dropped white paint down the red brickwork. Tried to cover it up with ‘Raspberry Delight’ - the only paint colour available in my local hardware shop paint samples that was anywhere near brick colour. Turns out it’s NOT near brick colour. I now have white and pink striped bricks. It’s like living in a candy cane house. But one with barred windows and a hole in the roof.

White gloss in both my ears and in my hair. It is never coming out. I have resigned myself to being partially deaf and with white striped hair. It’s like being 80 years old but without the pension, massive knickers and small yappy dog.  White paint is also in my wellies, on my house keys and I’ve just found a white spots on the car bonnet. 

So for the sake of NEVER being able to sell the house OR the car now, I really need to start exercising again. I need to wear myself out before something dreadful happens. Like an attempt at interior decoration or a newfound passion for taxidermy. 


Unless you WANT a stuffed ferret for Christmas ...

I’ve been unexpectedly nominated for a Running Award for bet blog! I’d love a free sausage roll and possibly a snaffled glass of fizz. Would you mind giving me a chance by voting for this blog here: 
Publications & Online -> Blog -> Dreaming of Footpaths

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