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Friday 9 October 2015

Best Triathlon Tips: Lessons Learned

  • Nothing beats local knowledge. Recce-ing the bike course and chatting to the marshals beforehand can give you some really good inside information. Even if it’s just ‘DON’T use the portaloo 3rd from the end.” 
  • Weeing in your wetsuit really does warm you up.
I'm in this picture somewhere. Concentrating.
  • I can’t wee in my wetsuit if I’m moving. Avoid me if I look like I’m concentrating.
  • Cracking the bike was all about practising. And practising. And practising. Even if it feels like I’m getting nowhere (If I’m on the turbo I probably AM getting nowhere) then keep at it. It’ll come.
Always know where the photographers are so you can avoid looking like THIS
  • I still haven’t cracked the swim. I’m very definitely backpack and need to sort this out. 
  • Open water swim starts are like WWE smackdowns. But with actual punching in the face. And no rules.
  • Doesn’t matter how much I practise running off the bike I will always spend the first mile stumping along like a pirate with 2 pegs. I haven’t had a brown accident (well ... almost never). It’s just how I run the first mile off the bike. 
  • My arse will always hurt no matter how long or short the bike ride. Apparently it will toughen up but I’m not sure I want a ‘tough arse’. 
My wetsuit pics are ALWAYS horrible. 
  • Swimming in a lake feels cleaner than swimming pool despite the fact I KNOW that ducks do not get out to poo and fish do not get out to die. 
  • It doesn’t matter how much lube you use. It is never enough. 
  • Portaloos at triathlon starts are even worse than at running race starts. But not as bad as ‘halfway through ultra’ loos.
  • Always take a hole punch to a race.
  • I mustn’t be intimidated by all the posh bikes. At least 25% will be ‘borrowed from a mate’. 
  • Someone will always be DQd for nudity at a race. 
  • It is IMPOSSIBLE to carry your bike quietly through hotel corridors at 5am before the start of a race. 

1 comment:

  1. "I KNOW that ducks do not get out to poo and fish do not get out to die" << This made me laugh! Also, can you really get DQd for nudity?...! I never knew that!