When the zombie apocalypse comes you’ll be glad you dragged your arse out for all those runs. You may not have any toenails, but you’re not going to be a snack for the groaning undead. Cardio, cardio, cardio. Oh and double-tap. Remember to practise your intervals though. They’ll eat the slow ones first.
2. Party Preparation.
Should there be a last minute 80s party, you’ve already got all the lycra and neon you’ll ever need. And we know you listen to the Fame soundtrack while you’re running. Don’t deny it.
Running makes you really, really focused. Nothing focuses the mind more than the thought of a really cold pint at the end of a really hot marathon.
4. It hurts less when you stub your toe.
There are less toenails to actually knock off and quite frankly your toes have lost all sensitivity by the time you actually get around to kicking the doorframe. Likewise standing on Lego will never hurt quite the same again.
5. Stat Attack
You know how boring spreadsheets are? Well when they show your run in great details including cadence, heart rates and teeny tiny hills you won’t be able to get enough information. Trust me. AND you’ll be able to prove it was all the fault of that energy gel you had at 8.67 miles that you started feeling nauseous and had to stop running. And definitely not the bottle of wine the night before. Cough.
6. Open Season at Buffet Bar
People won’t judge when you go back for 4ths and 5ths at the buffet. They’ll just assume you ran a marathon the day before.
7. Recovery, Recovery
You can pass off drinking gallons of chocolate milkshake as ‘recovery fuel’.
8. Moving Picnic.
Ultra marathons have CAKE stops. And no-one judges you for eating an entire pizza en-route. And you walk up the hills. Basically they’re a massive buffet with a bit of jogging thrown in.
9. Maths Mastermind
Your maths becomes amazing. You know exactly what pace you have to do to hit that personal best and be able to calculate kilometres per hour into minute miles in seconds. It’s like being an idiot savant. Unable to add up the groceries in the trolley but with the ability to tell anyone your 5k pace when asked.
10. MI5? Pah ...
You can talk a whole new language with other runners. Negative splits? Yasso 800s? Kenyan Hills? It’s like being a secret agent. But one dressed entirely in neon lycra.