Tri Vs DIY: I Don’t Even Want to Wee In My Wetsuit

It’s official. The mojo has departed. 

And because it’s the triathlon enthusiasm that has gone, it means that it’s not just not running, swimming and cycling also hold no appeal. My bike is sitting forlornly on the turbo trainer, its pointy saddle hurting no bottoms. My trainers are unworn and my spikes have yet to be used on a cross country course or competitors toes. I don’t even fancy wee-ing in my wetsuit.

However, it appears that I NEED to get back to it. If only because what I have replaced it with is much MUCH worse. 

I’ve turned to DIY. 

And it appears that I'm even more rubbish at DIY than I am at Not-Faffing-Around-In-Transitions and Self-Control-Around-All-The-Food-At-Checkpoints. At least with the checkpoints and eating all the food, the worst thing that happens is that I waste time and put on weight.

So far in the DIY journey I have:

Poked a hole in the roof of the house. (Yes really) I tried to cover it up but it was too big. I was only trying to paint the porch.

Dropped an entire tin of white gloss paint on the patio. I actually managed to clean it up quite well except I’ve managed to make a clean patch on the patio and it turns out that the patio stones AREN’T actually beige like I’ve always thought but are pink and yellow. Well. 4 of them are because I cleaned them trying to clean the paint up and now I have a beige patio that looks like Mr Blobby has melted in the middle.

Dribbled paint down the windows. From the inside it looks like I've installed bars. 

Dropped white paint down the red brickwork. Tried to cover it up with ‘Raspberry Delight’ - the only paint colour available in my local hardware shop paint samples that was anywhere near brick colour. Turns out it’s NOT near brick colour. I now have white and pink striped bricks. It’s like living in a candy cane house. But one with barred windows and a hole in the roof.

White gloss in both my ears and in my hair. It is never coming out. I have resigned myself to being partially deaf and with white striped hair. It’s like being 80 years old but without the pension, massive knickers and small yappy dog.  White paint is also in my wellies, on my house keys and I’ve just found a white spots on the car bonnet. 

So for the sake of NEVER being able to sell the house OR the car now, I really need to start exercising again. I need to wear myself out before something dreadful happens. Like an attempt at interior decoration or a newfound passion for taxidermy. 

Please. 

Unless you WANT a stuffed ferret for Christmas ...

I’ve been unexpectedly nominated for a Running Award for bet blog! I’d love a free sausage roll and possibly a snaffled glass of fizz. Would you mind giving me a chance by voting for this blog here: http://therunningawards.com/vote/24/29#vote 

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Run Motivation: Wine, Hat and a Nice Sit Down

I’d struggled with motivation for running recently, but had enjoyed the last run. It had been gentle and relaxed and maybe that was what was best in this warm weather. I needed a run at lunchtime and briefly considered doing my intervals at the gym, but the thought of running on a treadmill like a hamster running on a wheel was soul sapping, so I decided on a trail run. I’ve got a lovely one that loops around the golf course, down to Delapre Abbey, around a lake and under the trees and back into Brackmills.

I headed out in my shorts and vest top ... and immediately felt over-dressed.  The phone helpfully informed me that it was 30 degrees but I didn’t need to be told. I already knew that it was weather better suited to sitting in the garden with my feet up on a chair with a glass of wine in my hand and a floppy hat on my head. I consoled myself with t he thought that if I get this run done NOW then this evening I will have deserved my glass of wine and silly hat. Using alcohol and a ‘nice sit down’ as my motivation, I ran on.

I passed another runner who looked like he was struggling with the heat. He had a bit of a zombie shuffle going on and didn’t look entirely happy to be out in the sunshine. He managed a bit of a wave at me but it just intensified the ‘zombie in search of brains’ look. I waved back but kept my distance, consoled by the thought that he’d go hungry if he tried to eat my brains. I was quite sure after a couple of miles in this heat, I’d be perfecting my own zombie look.

I ran over the A45 – smug that I was running and the people below were stuck in cars - and up past the golf course, all in the hot sunshine. It was nice to be warm but the top of my head felt as though it was melting. However, the woods loomed in front of me – a deep, dark, shadowy haven. As soon as I got under the shade of the trees, it was easier to enjoy the run and I could appreciate the dim coolness.

This is one of my favourite sections to run. It’s all uphill, but the path is small and twisty and loops between towering trees. In Autumn the path is hidden beneath crunchy leaves, but today the sunlight slanted through the trees and the path was dry and smooth and good to run on. My Garmin gets very confused under all of these trees and it has given me a .31 mile distance differences the last 2 times I’ve run the route. This run is for fun though – it’s too hilly and bumpy and twisty to ever be a speedy route. As I move along the trail I startle a squirrel which runs across the path and up the trunk of a tree on my right.   

As I come out of the trees and onto the lane towards Delapre Abbey, I’m back in the hot sunshine so I distract myself by watching the tents and marquees being set up. It’s preparation for the Northampton music festival and people in hi-viz jackets are busy at work organising, directing and driving vehicles around. I run past, enjoying running in the sunshine rather than working hard and sweating in heavy clothes.

Past the Abbey, past the walled garden and under an avenue of trees. All of a sudden out into the sunshine and into the middle of a group of teenagers lying around the lake in swimming shorts and bikinis. The braver are swimming despite the blue-green algae warnings. I’m not sure what the effects of algae poisoning are. Maybe they’ll emerge like the 3 eyed fish in the Simpsons. A mutant super-teenager with zits the size of molehills and moods like thunderstorms. But with a cape.

 I like living in the midlands, but I miss the sea and being able to visit it whenever I want to like I could in Dorset where I grew up. It feels like I’m currently living in the belly button of England – as far from the sea as it’s possible to be. In this warm weather I miss the sea and all the nice things associated with it. Ice cream and sandy towels and relaxing with friends and a glass of wine on a warm evening in a pub beer garden, with the sound of the sea in the background.

Running around the cool water of the lake – the urge to jump in is almost irresistible. I feel so warm and the sunshine is so hot on my skin. I wonder if I was a Labrador in a previous life as the urge to stick my tongue out and pant is almost overwhelming. It would make sense. My love of running, having to have the windows down in the car and an inability to resist pinching a piece of whatever food is sitting on the kitchen top. I draw the line at eating Pedigree Chum though. Even if it will give me a glossy coat.

Electric blue dragonflies are hovering over the banks and the brown and orange butterflies flutter around dreamily. Everything seems prettier in the sunshine – even the parts of the trail which are all rutted and still slightly boggy aren’t the trainer sucking perils they are in the winter.

It’s getting warmer and I didn’t bring a water bottle with me, knowing that it’s only a 5 mile route but I’m getting thirsty now. I subdue my inner zombie and stick to the shadier sections and before I know it I’m back at work. I enjoy my shower and lunch, but can smile inwardly all afternoon as I know I’ve got a glass of wine, a floppy hat and a ‘nice sit down’ waiting for me at home. And I deserve them.